Meet Kash
Today, we had the pleasure to speak with Kash Brown, a mother of 3 (ages: 25, 21, & 17). Before becoming a successful Google employee, earning six figures, and buying her own home, Kash grew up in a small town in East Palo Alto, locally nicknamed Little Nairobi. Since then, East Palo Alto has been gentrified and is now home to Facebook Headquarters.
“I grew up in a town where there was a sense of community. You could talk to your neighbors and have them look after your kids while you worked extra hours. Things have changed now.”
Kash’s journey to motherhood started at an early age. She had her first child, Darius, when she was 16, which was not unusual in her community.
“I didn’t know that wasn't normal until I left.”
Thankfully, she had her family, community resources, and Bay Area pillars, such as Vicki Smothers — a longtime East Palo Alto resident — to help her piece it all together. Back then, Vicki provided young mothers like Kash with essential resources and support. Today, Vicki is the President and Co-founder of Free At Last, an organization that provides community-based services aimed at breaking the cycle of addiction within the Palo Alto community. Kash also had her elder sister, who had previously experienced being a teen mom, to lean on during her pregnancy journey.
Before becoming pregnant, Kash was a straight-A student-athlete basketball prodigy. She was the person everyone looked up to and sought out for advice. However, circumstances changed when she met Darius's father at the age of 14. They fell in love and had Darius two years later. Darius's father already had a 2-year-old son from a previous relationship, which provided Kash with beneficial insight as well as additional support from his household and grandma. Unfortunately, she had little support at home, and her relationship with her friends quickly shifted.
“I was a good kid, but once I got pregnant almost all of my friends’ parents didn’t want them to hang out with me anymore, except for one.”
Kash’s childhood best friend gave her another source of support throughout her pregnancy, creating a safe, loving, and nonjudgmental environment for her.
After her second child, Kash no longer had Darius’s father to help support her and their children so she supported herself and her children through welfare. “I was limited. It was all we knew. Get on welfare, sign up for housing, and you know that was pretty much it,” she told us, explaining the options she learned from her environment.
“There was no after, no other options, that was just what you did.”
At the time, Kash worked part-time jobs to support her children while making sure not to earn too much so that she would still qualify for government assistance.
“If I approached their limit, I would quit because if I continued working, then I’d lose all of the resources.”
Childcare services were discounted based on income, allowing her the flexibility to work. She remembers having to fill out a proof of income form every month to continue to qualify.
“It was like they were always in your business. You don’t live when you’re dependent on other resources outside of what you can provide. Your life is not your own because they need to know that you’re poor enough for their help. And if you make a dollar over that, then you’re no longer getting assistance from them. Literally a dollar.”
This inadequate system made her feel like she had to work a part-time job that allowed her to make enough money but not too much money to be able to continue to qualify for her monthly support.
Fast forward to when she was pregnant with her third child, De'Vante, she noticed that she was getting better job opportunities that were reliable and provided her with a higher income. However, battling a mindset created by her environment, she constantly worried about losing the resources supplied by welfare —especially as a 21-year-old single mother of two with another on the way.
Shortly after this realization, Kash went back to school and connected with people outside of her immediate circle within her community and realized she was “holding herself back, not only as a mother but as a person”. She also realized that all of the skills she gained working her part-time jobs were more than enough to qualify for a high-paying job in the tech world.
“I’ve been so scared of losing this $2,000 free rent a month and $800 Welfare check a month, that I have been limiting myself.”
To her, it was all about mindset. Determined to change the narrative for her children, Kash bravely walked away from all of her welfare resources.
“It’s not about me. My kids are dependent on me and they didn’t ask to be here, you know?”
We asked Kash to explain her postpartum experience…
“I don’t think I had time to even realize whether or not I had postpartum depression because I had to take care of my kids. You just continue on because you have to get things done.”
Then, we asked Kash how she would describe Black motherhood in two words…
“Strong and resiliency”
Kash explained how Black mothers, whether they are single or married, carry a lot of weight on their shoulders and take on more because they are expected to.
“We take on more because that’s what we’re used to. If you don’t do it, who else is going to do it?”
She emphasizes that Black moms learn to build resilience and keep their struggles to themselves because of societal expectations. “That’s it. That’s what we know.”
We also asked Kash what advice she has for new Black moms. These were her top 3:
Surround yourself with a supportive group of family and friends. “It’s okay to lean on others. You're not in this alone.”
Obtain the right knowledge and keep asking questions. “There’s so much information out there. You can easily get confused.” She explained how she used her community to get the information she needed throughout her pregnancies and urges the importance of helpful healthcare professionals (i.e Midwives) and resources (i.e Birth By Us).
Don’t lose yourself. “I want to stress the importance of continuing to pour into yourself as a Black mother. You’re going to be okay. Remember to continue to grow and move forward in life, regardless of your situation.”
Lastly, we asked her what excites her most about Birth By Us.
“It's like you have your village, resources, and the right knowledge meant for us right in the palm of your hand. Your tribe is your guide and Birth By Us is an extended community of people supporting you.”
She continues to tell us how excited she is about our community getting the help, support, and information needed throughout pregnancy and postpartum. There are so many disparities Black women experience with their health and it's important to advocate for yourself. Kash ended our conversation by emphasizing the importance of Black moms prioritizing their self-care during pregnancy and motherhood's ups and downs.
We hope you enjoyed hearing Kash’s story. Stay tuned for our next spotlight!
